


The Things We Do

by HerRenegadeHeart



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Gen, Sisters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-16 19:57:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5838952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerRenegadeHeart/pseuds/HerRenegadeHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes it's the little things that show how much we care. (A series of one-shots about the thoughtful things Kara and Alex do for each other.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Buttons

**Author's Note:**

> Kara and Alex scenes are always my favorite to watch and write, so I've decided that I'm going to write a series of shorts about them. Just little scenes between sisters because they're so cute. This series will be about the things Kara and Alex do for one another.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara comes home to find Alex doing something odd.

_I. Buttons_

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry," Kara apologized as soon as she flew in the window. She was late. Again. "In my defense, National City residents _cannot_ drive in the snow, not even when it's just falling and not sticking. I swear they're worse than Californians in the rain."

"It's fine," Alex dismissed from where she was sitting on Kara's couch. "Mulder and Scully can wait. Lives in the balance cannot."

It felt something like a betrayal to agree with such a statement (as Mulder and Scully were some of her and Alex's oldest friends), but it was still truth. Kara gave a nod.

"I made sure it was being DVRed," Alex added, glancing back over her shoulder at Kara for just a beat before returning her gaze to something in her lap, "But you did miss out on the cheesiest pieces of pizza. _Claimed_."

"Can you actually claim something when the other party isn't around to witness the claiming?" Kara questioned as she grabbed a drink out of the fridge.

"Yep," Alex replied. "Because I made the claim with my mouth. As in I ate them already."

Kara rolled her eyes, coming up behind her sister. "Of course. Couldn't even wait a few minutes."

"A few? Try an hour and _forty-five_ minutes," Alex countered. "I was starving. You're just lucky I didn't start watching without you."

Kara paused a moment when she realized what Alex had been staring at since she'd arrived was a pile of shirts in her lap. "...What are you doing?"

"Sewing."

"Sewing?"

Alex looked back up at her. "Buttons."

"Sewing buttons?"

The older Danvers sister shrugged. "I was bored and your pile of sad, buttonless shirts in the corner of your room was just pathetic. It's like half your wardrobe."

"It's not half—"

Alex gave her a _look_.

Kara floundered helplessly for a beat before deflating. "Okay, maybe… _forty_ percent." She plopped down on the couch next to her sister.

Alex stuck the needle through the adorable rose print fabric of one of Kara's favorite shirts. "Either you're having some torrid love affair with someone who has a thing for literally ripping your clothes off—"

Kara felt her face blaze at even the suggestion of such a thing.

"—Or you're not taking the extra point-five seconds to actually unbutton your shirts while changing into your Supergirl outfit."

"I... may approach the change with a bit of overzealousness."

"A bit?" Alex raised an eyebrow at her. Kara shrugged sheepishly. "Have you ever tried looking for shirts with snaps?"

Kara frowned. "Have _you_? The only shirts made with snaps are for toddlers and cowboys. Neither look I can pull off."

Alex gave a contemplative nod. "Mmm."

"Are you… sewing on snaps instead?" Kara asked, almost hopeful. It would look different, but it would certainly be easier. She was pretty sure that Cat was catching on to the fact that she'd been cycling through the same seven shirts over and over because she'd de-buttoned all her others and hadn't had time to go buy more (or sew the buttons back on herself).

Alex snorted. "Ummm, no," she said. "No one has time for that. Not to mention I'm pretty sure adding snaps to shirts is a totally different process."

Kara heard the underlying admission and nodded in understanding. "And you also suck at sewing."

"And I also suck at sewing," Alex readily agreed, returning the nod. "You'll be lucky if these buttons even line up with the holes."

Kara laughed and shook her head before falling silent again. She knew that while Alex was claiming boredom and passing it off as nothing, she was actually doing it because she saw it as another way to take care of Kara.

"Thank you for doing this," she said and she meant more than just the sewing. It was for everything.

Alex seemed to pick up on the sentiment within Kara's words because she smiled softly. "You're welcome," she said. "Now, are you here for the night? Can we finally see what truths are out there?"

"Yes!" Kara replied as she leaned forward and snagged a piece of pizza. She warmed it up with her heat vision and slumped back into the cushions of the couch while Alex, after pulling down the blanket and tossing it over both their legs, pressed play on the DVR.

_"My name is Fox Mulder. Since my childhood, I've been obsessed by a controversial global phenomenon…"_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES, I should be working on the next chapter for "Boom" and I AM, but this little scene wouldn't shut up in my head so I just had to write it. I also have several ideas for more sisterly scenes, so more to come!
> 
> (Also, if you have ideas of what you think Alex and Kara might do for each other and would possibly like to see it written, let me know!)


	2. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is having a bad day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning - this chapter is pretty much crack. I don't know where it came from or even wtf it is. Regardless, it amused me so I thought I'd share!

_II. Three_

Alex was not having a great start to her day. Her alarm hadn't gone off, leaving her a good twelve minutes behind schedule. She had been so exhausted and distracted the night before that she apparently hadn't remembered to make sure it was set (as she did every other night).

She likely wouldn't have woken up until much later if it hadn't been for the bongos her upstairs neighbor insisted on playing whenever "the great muse rained down inspiration for some real ethereal shit" (his phrasing, not hers). She wasn't sure how bongo music could ever be considered ethereal, but regardless, it happened, she hated it, and if she hadn't been mildly thankful for him waking her up when he had, she might have gone up there to threaten him with a weapon. It was just that kind of day.

Yes, okay, it was only _twelve_ minutes, but still she had a very specific morning routine, a very specific timetable. Kara called it her "start of the day OCD"... which it wasn't, because Alex _didn't have OCD_. She just liked things to be simple and predictable when she was only partially functional.

After evaluating the tasks she had to do and the remaining time she had to do them in, she'd come to the conclusion that she was going to have to cut short her shower and eggs were off the table, toast only. Not a happy compromise, but it was one she could (begrudgingly) live with.

Of course, it was shortly after that when she'd discovered that the hot water heater had finally given up the ghost, leaving her shower cold. No, not just cold, but _ice cold_ … a realization that had then gotten Foreigner's "Cold As Ice" stuck in her head. "You're as cold as ice. You're willing to sacrifice our love," she sang in a rather angry, off-key manner at her shower until it occurred to her that she was being insane and she stopped. Needless to say, the time she had allotted herself to spend in the shower was cut considerably shorter.

At least eggs were now a viable option, she considered as she grumpily wiped the droplets of freezing misery off of her skin with a towel and got dressed. She applied a very subtle, very "I work for a government organization and don't want to be too fancy because I need to be taken seriously by my male peers" dusting of makeup and ran a brush through her hair. "Good enough," she muttered before heading for the kitchen.

_Rule of Three._ She wasn't sure where the thought had come from, but now that it was there, she couldn't help but ponder it _._ She didn't generally think too much (or at all) on such nonsensical things, but in this situation, with two down, she couldn't help but wonder what else might be in store for her.

_There is no scientific evidence to prove that the Rule of Three actually exists_ , logical Alex presented.

_No, but what if it_ _ **does**_ _?_ off-schedule and still-cold Alex countered.

Alex narrowed her eyes as she dumped the coffee grounds and water into the maker, flicking it on.

Would the elevator be out and she'd have to walk down eleven flights of stairs? Was her car going to have a flat? Perhaps a hostile alien force would invade Earth!

Or maybe—

She opened the fridge, reached inside, and froze.

_Oh no._

_**Oh God** _ _._

It was happening. It was in effect —the Rule of Three— and it was so much worse than she would have even thought to consider.

_No, no, no, no, no._

She was _out of creamer_. She shook the bottle to be sure. It was _definitely_ empty. Her delicious fat free hazelnut creamer — gone. All gone.

She could have _sworn_ there had been some left from the morning before. She supposed it was possible that she'd somehow made a mistake, things _had_ been particularly hectic recently, but at the same time, she was generally so very careful.

She usually had her morning rituals down to a science, exact measurements of creamer and all. She did it that way so that she would always know when to buy more. Most peculiar of all, she never would have put an empty bottle back in her fridge. She was very confused and more than a little distraught.

Little known fact about Alex Danvers was that she could not function _at all_ in the morning without _at least_ one cup of coffee (usually two), but she also couldn't drink said coffee without her specific creamer. During the day or into the night, she could drink it any which way, she didn't care, but in the morning, it had to be specific. It had to be _perfect_. It had to be—

There was a knock at the door. Alex turned and frowned at it. She should answer it, she knew, and normally she would, but she was grumpy. Really, whoever was on the other side was better off without her answering. They might be inconvenienced by her silence, but they would keep their heads.

"Alex, open up," a voice called through the door. _Kara_.

Alex remained unmoving.

"I know you're in there," the younger Danvers sister sing-songed. "I can _see_ _you_." The last part was said in a slightly-muffled whisper as if Kara were pressing her mouth against the crack of the door so that no one else would overhear.

Rolling her eyes, Alex finally crossed to the door and pulled it open. She was greeted by the far-too-awake, smiling face of her little sister. "Morning!"

Alex squinted an eye. "Why are you here?" was her immediate response to Kara's chirpiness.

"I'm here because I am kind and thoughtful and I come bearing gifts." With a flourish, she pulled out from behind her back a 32oz bottle of Coffee-mate's Fat Free Hazelnut creamer. "Ta-da!"

"Oh my God, I love you," Alex gasped. Kara beamed, clearly missing the fact that Alex was actually talking to the creamer.

Alex immediately took it and cradled it to her chest, like Gollum holding the One Ring. _My preciousssss…_ "You are forgiven," she tossed over her shoulder as she turned and headed toward the the kitchen.

Kara held up a questioning finger. "There was a point when I wasn't?" Then she frowned, shutting the door and quickly following after Alex. "Wait — what am I even being forgiven for?"

"For keeping me up."

"I didn't."

"You did. You called me."

"At like nine-thirty!"

"Precisely, and you were lamenting. For a long time. Not that it wasn't a lament-worthy situation..." It definitely was — most of situations Kara got herself into were. Poor thing just seemed to be a magnet for misfortune. "I'm just saying, I can't hang up when you're lamenting. Makes me feel guilty."

Of course, Kara's misfortune _was_ balanced out in a way by her genuine sweetness. She was like a puppy, an adorable, super-powered puppy. When she was sad, everyone was sad and no one could say, "I can't listen to your lamentations, Kara, because I really need to sleep," or "Sorry, can't be your shoulder to cry on at the moment, I'm trying to defuse an _actual_ bomb." There was no escaping it. Even over the phone, Kara and her puppiness just grabbed a hold of Alex each time and demanded, in the sweetest, most earnest way, that she make everything better for her little sister.

Kara frowned slightly. "It wasn't really for a long time… was it?" she asked. "Did I really keep you up?"

Alex looked over her shoulder at her sister and saw the hurt puppy emerging in Kara's eyes. She immediately felt guilty. _Dammit_. She sighed. "No, no it's fine. I'm just grumpy."

"I see that. Start of the day OCD issues?"

The guilty feeling was replaced by long-suffered irritation. "I do not have OCD."

Kara laughed. "Ooookay."

Rolling her eyes, Alex turned back to her coffee pot and tapped her fingers anxiously against the counter as she waited for the elixir of life to finish brewing. When the little green light stopped blinking and the liquid stopped pouring from the spout, she snatched the pot up and immediately poured the coffee into her Disappearing TARDIS mug. It had been a "just because" gift from Kara and it was her favorite.

She measured the tiny bit of sugar and the perfect amount of her precious creamer into the steaming coffee, swirling it with a spoon until she was satisfied that it was properly mixed. She lifted it to her lips and inhaled deeply through her nose, savoring the delectable smell. She was so ready for this.

She took a careful sip and dear Lord, it was amazing. She could instantly feel herself becoming human once again.

She opened her eyes and saw Kara staring at her. She lowered the mug from her lips. "Did you want some?" she asked.

"Nope. Nope, that is _all_ yours."

"It's okay if you—"

"You're probably not aware of it because you're in that weird trance you fall into when you get your first taste of coffee each day, but you're literally standing there in front of the pot like a mama bear, positioned menacingly on her back legs, protecting her cubs. No way I'm coming anywhere near that."

"Fair enough," Alex replied after a beat. She didn't even bother adjusting her stance, just continued to enjoy the revitalizing brew.

Until something occurred to her.

"Wait, how did you know I needed creamer?" She eyed her sister suspiciously.

Kara averted her gaze quickly down to Alex's counter where she flicked crumb of something off of the otherwise pristine surface. "Well, you see,... it was like…"

"Kara…"

"I… _may_ have used the last of it yesterday morning when I was over."

"I _knew_ I had left some in the bottle when I put it back!" She hadn't been going crazy after all.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I meant to fly to the store and replace it before you even noticed, but then there was that huge pile-up on Main and the… _thing_ with James and Winn and my stupid mouth and I—"

Alex waved her off, the caffeine finally working its magic and her threshold for forgiveness rising. "It's fine." She smiled softly, taking yet another sip. "I really do appreciate you bringing me the creamer. You saved my life."

"More like I saved everyone else's lives," Kara teased. "No one, not even the Fort Rozz aliens, deserves to experience an un-caffeinated Alex Danvers."

"You're a brat," Alex groused, narrowing her eyes and pointing a finger at her sister.

Kara laughed. "A brat who delivers."

At least that much was true. Alex softened and smiled once more. "Every time," she agreed.

That drew a sweet, almost bashful smile out of Kara. "Speaking of deliveries, lattes don't magically appear on bosses' desks, so I have to fly." She hugged Alex quickly then headed toward the door. "Dinner tonight?"

Alex nodded. "My treat."

Kara grinned. "Love you!" and once Alex had returned the sentiment, the younger Danvers sister was out the door.

Alex finished her coffee and everything else she needed to do before she finally headed out herself.

_Rule of Three? Pfft. No such thing,_ caffeinated Alex proclaimed and even paranoid Alex seemed to agree. Her lack of creamer hadn't been a third because, of course, Kara had been there to save the day, and now that she was fully caffeinated, Alex was more than willing to bet the other issues she'd had hadn't been one and two either.

She stepped outside and breathed in the brisk winter air. As she approached her car, she was pleased to see that all four tires were still intact and even though she was still running a few minutes late, she wasn't bothered. She was feeling good. She was feeling energetic, and light, and ready to start the day.

And she was also feeling her feet suddenly flying out from underneath her.

She landed on her back with audibly _thud_ and felt all the air rush out of her lungs at once. She wheezed.

Black ice.

Because _, of -freaking- course._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about that one. Seriously, as I said at the top, I have no idea where it came from. I just had this weird imagine in my brain of Kara at Alex's door, pressing her mouth against the crack, like little Anna in Frozen during "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?"... I don't know. So bloody random, haha.
> 
> The next two scenes (which will be in a single chapter) will NOT be crack at all. Tissues might even be in order. You have been warned.


	3. Blanket/Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> III. Blanket: This was a prompt sent to me by one of my glorious anons on Tumblr who wrote: "Alex finds out that on occasion Kara stays overnight at the DEO watching over comatose Bizarro/Jane Doe. cue feels." SPOILERS FOR 1x12 - "Bizarro"
> 
> IV. Blue: This was a headcanon presented to me by the glorious BreezyR who said: " I bet Kara sometimes has nightmares and Alex has her own methods of taking care of her then. Like hot cocoa and cuddling." SPOILERS FOR 1x13 - "For the Girl Who Has Everything"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is 2 scenes as there is an element in the first that makes its way over into the second scene (and also because the first scene felt too short to me to post as a chapter on it's own). ALSO, this means you get 3 scenes in one day, because I am feeling generous! And also because I was feeling so very upset about the last episode that I needed to write something other than "Boom". These two scenes are the result of that.

**WARNING: SPOILERS FOR 1x12 - "Bizarro"**   **AND**   **1x13 - "For the Girl Who Has Everything"**

* * *

_III. Blanket_

Alex slipped near-silently down one of the halls of the DEO, nodding to a passing agent as she went. It was late and quieter than it was in the day, but the base was still active as the business of protecting the earth never stopped. She was meant to be off work, but when she'd stopped by Kara's to check on her and found her sister not home, she'd known where to go.

When she reached the door she needed, she pushed it open and peeked inside. She saw precisely what she thought she would — her sister asleep at the bedside of the comatose Bizarro, or Jane, as Kara had taken to calling her. She'd told Alex, voice soft with sadness and regret, that "Bizarro" just seemed too harsh a name for the innocent lying on the bed.

This was not the first night she knew Kara had come to sit with Jane, and at some point a small leather loveseat had been brought into the room, which Alex suspected was the work of J'onn. He'd been the initial one to notice Kara's visits and the one to tell Alex about them.

Alex sighed softly as she regarded her sister's exhausted features. Even in her sleep, she still looked like she was being crushed under the weight of the world. There was nothing Alex could do about it and she hated it. She could be there for her sister and offer whatever she could to help alleviate the pressure, but until Kara was ready to release it, the burden would remain.

That was why she was there, though. Not to acquit her sister of whatever she was struggling with, but to offer what succor she could. In this case, it was a blanket.

It seemed silly because Kara was Kryptonian and didn't actually need a blanket in order to keep warm, but Alex knew having one brought her comfort. This one was a particular favorite as well — a soft blue microfleece one that she'd had for years, one of the first things she'd been given after coming to Earth. Kara kept it stored safe in her linen closet and only ever pulled it out when she was feeling emotionally overwhelmed. When Alex had stopped by Kara's apartment, she'd found it on Kara's bed and knew in that moment, despite her sister's earlier (and multiple) assurances that she was fine, just how very _not fine_ she actually was.

After closing the door behind her, she padded quietly across the room. She stood before her little sister and just watched her breathe for a few beats before she finally draped the blanket over her.

The act, though gentle, didn't go unnoticed by the sleeping blonde because her eyes suddenly fluttered open. She blinked lethargically a few times, seemingly attempting to process where she was and what was happening before her gaze came to rest on Alex. "Hey," she greeted softly, slowly pushing herself up into a straighter position.

Alex slipped down onto the little couch beside her. "Hi," she whispered in return. Unable to help herself, she leaned forward and pushed an errant golden lock out of Kara's face and tucked it behind her ear.

"I thought you left hours ago," Kara said.

"I did."

"Then why…?"

"I'm just checking on you," Alex replied.

"How did you even know—"

"That you'd be here?" Alex smiled gently. "Elite agent, remember?"

Kara smirked and Alex watched as her sister unconsciously fingered the soft fabric of the blanket in her lap, not even noticing it was there until a few seconds later when her sleepy brain seemed to realize that something was not the same as it had been before. Kara looked down and Alex saw the very moment that she recognized which blanket it was.

Blue eyes snapped back up to chestnut and Kara swallowed hard. She was struggling with the realization that she had been found out, Alex could see it playing clearly across her sister's face. It was harder to keep the roiling emotions in check when someone else knew you were experiencing them; it was harder to convince yourself that they weren't so bad when you could see a reflection of them in the empathetic expression of another person.

Alex knew Kara thought she needed to be okay, that being emotional was a burden to others. She knew this because that was her own mindset. But Kara was not Alex — her emotions had always been so much closer to the surface and Alex knew that the worst thing Kara could try to do was be like Alex, to force them down and pretend to be okay.

So when Kara cracked, Alex was relieved.

Face crumpling, Kara leaned forward into Alex's waiting arms and trembled helplessly. Alex held tight.

After Kara had calmed, Alex spoke up. "Why are you here?" she asked softly, though she was pretty sure she already knew the answer.

Sniffling, Kara pulled back and looked sadly over at Jane. "I know she's in a coma," she started, "and isn't aware, but still, I didn't want her to be alone. I didn't want her to…"

Alex understood. "You didn't want her to be afraid."

Kara brought her head back around to meet Alex's gaze once more and nodded. "Yeah."

Alex studied her sister's face. Her eyes were damp and a far brighter blue because of the tears; her expression was earnest and kind and terribly tragic. And Alex made a decision. She pulled up the blanket and slipped underneath it as well.

"What are you doing?" Kara asked.

"Staying," Alex replied, because there was more than one girl in the room who could use someone else to keep them from feeling alone and afraid. She extended an arm out to Kara, inviting her in.

Kara gave Alex a small, watery smile and nodded before hunkering down under the blanket and leaning fully into Alex's welcoming side. "Thank you," she whispered.

* * *

_IV. Blue_

The blanket was out and Alex wasn't at all surprised. Kara had once told her that it was the same color blue as what her mother had worn and that was why she'd been so drawn to it when she'd first arrived on Earth as a child. Having now been inside Kara's head, Alex realized how precise a match it actually was.

The only thing sticking out from under the blanket was a tuft of blonde hair and while Alex wished she could see her sister's face just so she could check to see she was okay, she was glad that Kara was finally getting some rest.

The past few days had not gone well. Kara had tried to play it off as if she was okay. During the evening of fun with James and Winn she had seemed almost normal, but after the guys had left, the effort to maintain the facade had become too much. She hadn't said anything, but the moment Kara had pulled the blanket out of the linen closet, Alex had known just how much she was suffering.

Alex had been staying with Kara since it had happened, since the Black Mercy and Astra's death. She'd told herself that she was doing it for Kara, but she knew she was doing it for both of them. Despite Kara's half-hearted attempts at insisting she could manage alone, Alex knew better, knew her sister needed her there just as she needed to be near Kara.

Alex had never come so close to losing Kara before. There had been some scary calls, but this time Kara truly had almost died and Alex hadn't quite figured out a way to wrap her mind around that. Yes, Kara had survived, but the fear Alex had felt for her sister still lingered below the surface and now, watching how Kara was managing her grief, she was even more afraid.

Kara had been pushing herself as hard as she could, working at CatCo and saving as many lives as possible, only coming home when she was exhausted. She actually hadn't said how she had handled Cat Grant and the mess J'onn's charade had left behind, but she hadn't been fired, so Alex assumed she managed to work out something. She was happy about it, too, happy that Kara had been able to hang on to that important part of her life, but at the same time, Alex couldn't help but worry about the way Kara was just throwing herself into her work, both there and as Supergirl.

Kara wasn't coping, she was ignoring, and Alex knew just how dangerous that was for a person who lived as freely by her emotions as Kara did. Kara had always been the one to willingly feel the deepest, to wear her heart on her sleeve. To hide her feelings, to force them down went completely against Kara's nature and it never ended well. Alex knew that sooner or later they were going to catch up with her.

She had just settled on the couch when she heard it — the first whimper. Alex froze in place, holding her breath, and just listened. After a few moments, she decided that she'd imagined the sound, but just as she was about to relax back down into the cushions, she heard it again. Her eyes immediately went to the lump on the bed that was her sister.

Kara shifted in her sleep, rolling onto her back. She whimpered a third time and Alex was immediately on her feet. She moved quickly but quietly over to Kara's side, carefully pulling the blanket down to reveal her sister's anguish-twisted, but still-sleeping face.

Nightmares.

Alex's heart clenched in despair. She knew this would happen at some point, was actually surprised it hadn't happened sooner. She suspected the delay in the nightmares was due to the fact that Kara was exhausting herself to the point of almost dropping on the spot, forcing herself into too deep a sleep to dream. But now...

It was just like when she had lost her family the first time, though Alex imagined this time had to be so much worse. To lose something you loved was painful enough, but to then have back that thing you had been dreaming of for so long only to have it ripped away yet again… Alex couldn't even conceive of that measure of agony.

When Kara's face crumpled even further and her whimpers turned into distressed cries, Alex immediately climbed onto the bed beside her and reached forward, gently shaking her. "Kara," she said softly, "Kara, wake up."

Alex couldn't recall the number of times she had done the same thing when Kara had first arrived on Earth. They had slept in the same room as girls and that meant she hadn't been able to simply ignore Kara's nightly distress (not that she would have wanted to either way). She'd felt that Kara was her responsibility and had never thought to seek out her parents in order for them to help with the trauma Kara experienced over and over after the sun set. Instead, with a some time (and bruises, as waking up a hysterical Kryptonian who hadn't yet fully figured out her new powers turned out to be, on occasion, mildly dangerous), she'd worked out the best way to calm her new sister.

"Kar—" Alex reeled back when Kara surged forward and almost headbutted her. "Whoa, Kara! Hey, hey!" Her hands hovered before her sister, but she didn't touch, wouldn't until Kara was fully out of the grips of the nightmare.

Kara looked around, chest heaving, confusion plain across her haunted face. It took her a few seconds, as it always did, to realize where she was, but the moment she did, she leaned right over into Alex's waiting arms. She didn't cry, just shook, her body no doubt trying to free itself of the last vestiges of whatever she had been living through in her mind.

"I got you," Alex softly said, rubbing Kara's back in soothing circles. "I got you."

Eventually Kara pulled back and blinked wide, wet, sad eyes at Alex.

Alex slipped her hand into Kara's and gripped it tight. "Krypton?" she asked.

Kara shook her head. "Astra," she whispered. Alex felt her heart drop. "I dreamt that I got there in time, that she agreed to give up Non and their plans, _to help us_ , but more so, she agreed to let _me_ help _her_ ," she shook her head, "but then everything went wrong and she died anyway."

"Oh, Kara…"

Tears finally started to fall down her sister's cheeks, voice trembling as she continued to speak. "I just— I think if I had been there instead of trying to take on Non, I might have been able to reach her, to convince her to help us. If I had been there, Hank — _J'onn_ — wouldn't have had to—" her breathing hitched, "he wouldn't have had to kill her."

The plaguing guilt she had been feeling since the moment she pulled the kryptonite sword free of Astra's breast flared hot and Alex had to look away.

Kara missed it though, no doubt too tangled up in her own turbulent emotions to spot the distress glance across Alex's face. "There was still good in her, Alex. _I know it_. I could have saved her. If I hadn't let my anger blind me. If I'd just…"

"Kara, no," Alex interrupted, shaking her head. She paused there, though, unsure of what comforts to offer her sister.

Her struggle stemmed from the fact that Alex believed what her sister was saying, too. She had seen the conflict in Astra's eyes, the war of duty versus family. She had seen the sudden shift from self-righteous anger to conscience-stricken hesitation when she'd asked the woman to help them. In that moment, there had been an opportunity to save Astra from herself.

But the opportunity had been lost.

If Alex had just had more time talk to her, if J'onn hadn't shown up when he had, if he hadn't been bested by Astra, if Kara had gotten there faster… There were so many factors that had attributed to the way things had ended, so many things that could have gone differently, but hadn't. It was just a bad day, one of those bad days when it could have gone just right, but instead had gone perfectly wrong.

"I could have saved her," Kara repeated in a broken whisper.

It drew Alex back out of her head, making her realize that she'd fallen silent.

"I don't know that you could have," Alex softly countered, though it felt wrong even as she said it. She fully believed her sister could reach just about anyone, but in this moment, that wasn't what Kara needed to hear. What she needed was to be shown that it wasn't her fault.

"Astra had been misguided for _so long_ that she couldn't see beyond what she had convinced herself to believe," Alex said, squeezing Kara's hand tight. "She couldn't see that there was another way. After all that time, her warped ideas were all she knew anymore and she was so afraid that if she let them go, everything she had worked for, everything she had _sacrificed_ —your mom, your planet,... _you_ — it would be for nothing."

"She never lost me, though," Kara wept. "She _always_ had me."

Alex sighed and pulled her little sister into another hug, holding her as close as she could as Kara sobbed against her. "There are days when you just lose, Kara," she murmured. "There was nothing you could have done or can do that will change it. We lost that day. What you have to remember, though, what you have to _hold onto_ is that she loved you. Despite it all, the madness and the anger and the violence, you helped Astra remember the woman she had once been and she died loving you."

Kara held tight to Alex and just wept and not once did Alex wish to pull out of the embrace. She was Kara's protector, her support. It was a mantle she had accepted begrudgingly as a child, but now it was the position she held at higher value than she did anything else in her life. She clung to her sister, holding her secure until Kara's sobs turned to soft whimpers and she began to fully slump against Alex.

Kara was overwrought and just so very weary. Alex knew that the conversation was over, at least for now, so without letting go, she coaxed Kara back down into the pillows. She one-handedly adjusted the blanket, as deep a royal blue as ever there was, so that it covered them both and then snuggled beneath it's warmth, her sister pressed firm and safe against her side.

Alex unconsciously rubbed soothing patterns into Kara's back as they lay there and listened as Kara's hiccuped breaths of despair eventually evened out, her exhaustion making it impossible to ignore the cool pull of sleep any longer.

As she stared up at the shadows on the ceiling, Alex felt a tear slip free as her sorrow surged anew in the silence. It was but the first as she found herself suddenly unable to hold back the flood.

She wept quietly, for herself and what'd she'd been forced to do; for Kara and what she had been forced to live through. She wept at the weight of the secret she now had to keep. She didn't know what would happen should a day come when Kara found out what had truly happened. Astra may have never lost Kara despite all she had done, but Alex feared the moment the truth finally found its way into the light, _she_ would lose her.

Even imagining the look of betrayal that would no doubt darken Kara's sweet, open face was too much for Alex, so she did the only thing she could right then — she pressed her tear-stained face into Kara's hair and pulled the blanket up high. It was warm and safe and would, at least for now, keep them protected against any further pains the world wished to serve them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to lie to you, it's been a really long time since a TV show (or movie) upset me so much that it left me feeling physically ill. "For the Girl Who Has Everything" did that to me. I just loved Astra so very much and I just know she could have been redeemed. If it had just been Kara there instead of J'onn... GAH. Cannot. I cannot.
> 
> Everyone was on point this episode, that is for sure, but I will say that Chyler Leigh's performance throughout (especially the scene where she's pleading with Kara to remember and to come back with her) was just... wow, phenomenal. We've always seen Alex so calm and I just love how violent she got in this. And the whole "I either come back with my sister or I don't come back at all" line? HO-LY CRAP. It really gave us all some great insight into how far she would go for Kara. It also gave me a better idea of how far I can push her in "Boom" and still keep her true to character. God, such a great, horrible, brilliant, gut-wrenching, amazing episode. I hate it so much and I love it all the more.

**Author's Note:**

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> 
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